No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
