I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize