So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I believe in your delicious
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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