4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
