im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm at about main and main street
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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