Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
