I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
