we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize