Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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