While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
