ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
