I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Randomize
