so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
