Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
