You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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