does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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