That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
farters have to be the big spoon...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
sex in a hospital.. check
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
