dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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