I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
