dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
