pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
