You can't motorboat a personality
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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