she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
