I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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