my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
tell me about the fingering
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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