Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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