All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
