who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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