Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."