dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
