It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You brought string cheese to the strip club
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for