"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy