You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
