i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
