K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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