Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So many bounce houses so little time
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
