Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
