I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sobbing to NWA
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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