Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
even my farts smell like vagina
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
