We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
