Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
