I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
