the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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