i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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