Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
