I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize