Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
