Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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