do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
