I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize