am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
