2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
