i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
