Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
