there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
