Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
