So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
