There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
