I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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