think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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