You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
