my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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