Please, let me fuck your mom
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
