mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
