their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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