I just saw a hot homeless man
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
