Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
