I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize