He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
