9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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