drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
