I puked a lego.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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