Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize