CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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